Fuck Being "Frantic"

In the “wild”, if you’re frantic, you’re fighting for your fucking life. The nature of hurriedness serves a particular function, one of absolute dire survival and this ability to go into “overdrive” as a last-ditch effort to “make it” has been gifted to every living being with a fully functioning nervous system. In human trappings however, the nature of “frantic” has become prevalent in non- life threatening environments, possibly even common to the point of being called a “trait” in some.

I think many of us have come to relabel “frantic” as it can sound quite disorganized and even unproductive, possibly confused. The truth is “frantic” is all of these things, and its all of these things because “frantic” doesn’t belong in safe environments. Frantic should not be a behavior or trait. It is a state of being reserved for the most dire of situations. So I want you to ponder with me the areas in which “frantic” makes an appearance and how we can possibly readdress what is “dire” and how a constant state of franticness only harms us and only benefits others.

I remember feeling frantic for the first time. I was way too young and was definitely not alone in these feelings. I was handed a weekly planner in 3rd grade. We had begun dividing our school day into different subjects and respective classrooms for those subjects. I was accustomed to spending the entire day in one room, one teacher, and everything I needed within that singular space. In the span of a summer break I was expected to shift rooms, environments, and underpaid caretakers every forty five minutes to an hour, sometimes seven times a day. My workload went from the expectations of one attentive teacher to that of seven who were also juggling mini circuses all day. The attentiveness toward us was dwindled and I lost a bit of agency within my school. It didn’t matter what I distilled from that class. What mattered was whether or not we completed the busywork of seven different environments and if we could keep things organized as to avoid punishment from the adults in the room. My first dose of “frantic” was in homeroom. Our teacher asked us to place an assignment on her desk to which I replied “But that’s not due yet.” I was wrong. And I definitely wrote every single assignment for that week on the wrong week in my planner. I received my first low grade which in reality means nothing, but for my homelife it meant I’d be reacquainted with the belt. It was at this moment that the nervous system tethering my eight year old body together went berserk. I realized that I not only missed my homeroom assignment, but every single assignment for that day. I was holding back tears. A tsunami of panic floored me, crashing me against an ever-shrinking room as I realized that I had this one single class to do the assignment for the next class. Which meant I wouldn’t being paying attention in that very class. As you can guess I spent the entire day in this state. Using the previous class to play catch up before the next class only to completely miss what was currently being taught for that day. For the rest of the day I lived in a heightened anxious state and with no tools to reorient back to the present (because those things aren’t taught in school), I was drained and depleted. This would soon become my normal as more and more work was expected of us kids, all while the quality of our lives was leashed to whether or not we could accomplish the overabundance of tasks that were expected of children.

In nature animals are able to come down from this nervous frantic state. My therapist has frequently pointed out that a gazelle narrowly escaping a deathly maw will frantically jitter, literally “shaking it off”. This helps reorient the animal’s nervous system into a state of safety. This pattern helps the animal distinguish between that sense of danger and safety so that it can act accordingly and responsibly. Sure the animal could live in a constant frantic state, always ready to act; darting from any perceived danger, but you can guess the long term consequences of this. The animal would never reap the benefits of a safe environment. Safety that our nervous systems and bodies are constantly seeking out. There is an obvious benefit to relaxing, slowing down, and reassessing from a calm state of being. We’re able to engage in our communities, meet the needs of ourselves and others, nurture our environments and tend to the earth. All things that sound nice on paper but are virtually unpracticed and untaught in modern human society. Imagine walking into work to find your boss saying “please relax and take your time. It’ll all get done!” or ads in our stores that truthfully remind us “There’s no rush to buy this. We will keep selling them for months. Get it if and when you’re ready.” Both of these statements are utterly TRUE. The work will always get done and that item will always be there for some time (if and when you actually want it.) So why are we surrounded by constant frantic reminders? Why is frantic nature the current backbone of human society? One reason I believe is because the person in front of you doesn’t want to hold the goddamn frantic baton anymore.

This is also why we don’t teach the tools to recognize safety and turn off “frantic”. If we all simply lived according to a true sense of safety and danger we wouldn’t be rushing to grab the next sale, to overfulfill the whims and wishes of our bosses who are also trying to fulfill the whims of their bosses to satisfy shareholders, etc etc. We humans aren’t frantic to save our lives, we’re frantic to save everyone else’s. We’re told our frantic nature makes us more productive. Being busy is applauded and revered. The truth is it doesn’t make us any more productive, it just makes us too tired and distracted to say “no.” If I personally recognized my safe home for what it really was, and allowed my nervous system to reap those benefits then there’s no way in hell I’m checking my emails or answering work calls, but tell your boss that and you’re no longer the ideal candidate, even if you’re equally as “productive” as your frantic colleagues. We’re taught that “not working” and “not being productive” aligns with a sense of danger. Systems will collapse, structures will unravel, food will disappear, you name it and chances are you’re using some specific fear as a reason to stay frantic. It’s the fear that you rebuttal with when your friends, family, and partners ask you to “take a break”. If we treat the mythical repercussions of “relaxing” as an existential danger then we have no choice but to live in that action-ready frantic state at all times. You can drop any one of us on a fucking tropical island; the go to trope for relaxation and we’ll still answer the work call or check our emails “just to make sure”. It makes no physiological sense to live in that way. When we’re safe we should live as if we’re safe. It’s a gift that we’re all supposedly fighting incredibly hard for. This state of frantic should be reserved for emergencies and dangers. That’s it. That is the only slice of life in which “frantic” has evolved to exist and function appropriately. There is no literal danger if you close your emails in the afternoon. There is no danger if you stay steadfast in the grocery store and get only what you came for. Innately we know what we need, our bodies do a remarkable job of logging all of this, its’ when we let others tell us what we need and what’s a perceived danger that we’re willingly handing our nervous systems and ultimately quality of life over to someone who is commodifying us.

So how can we start slam dunking “frantic” in the trash? The first step is to ultimately acknowledge the sad ass truth that your brain has been hijacked- all of ours have. Being busy and frantic was instilled in you at a young age. The seeds that would turn you into a productive machine were sown when you were a child and you didn’t get a say. You and I have to start there and swallow that existential pill. Next we have to acknowledge that there are literal moments of danger in every person’s life. These differ depending on your geographical location in history and truthfully your demographic. We have to acknowledge this entire bundle so that we can differentiate between “real danger” and “corporate danger” this way we can act toward the “real safety” all humans need and deserve. I’m willing to bet that while you read the news of another war torn region you’re also stressing out about that email you haven’t replied to. These two things should not be equals. In any sense. Once we make a habit of acknowledging the existence of “real danger” we acknowledge the existence of “real safety”. The benefits that come from acknowledging safety are readily available and your body is counting on them. Imagine being home and truly “being home”. Imagine creating art without urgency, taking your time with friends over coffee, imagine simply not keeping mental tabs on the next thing coming down the conveyor belt. Imagine being truly present. Imagine it, please. Its possible but not with “frantic” in the driver’s seat. It starts with acknowledging “real dangers” and “real safety”. Not what our bosses tell us, but what our bodies tell us. I want you to begin by taking note. Start by asking ourselves “What is safe in my life. What should ultimately be a sense safety.” And understand that if you’re in a place of safety, if you’re residing in that safe space then there is no danger. Your sense of safety literally has no room for “urgency” or “corporate danger” as I call it. Then recognize and acknowledge actual dangers, actual threats toward your life and quality of life and understand that these have specific moments they exist. You have to understand this, because then you will have a more clear sense of the actual dangers that are still present amongst your fellow humans. These dangerous moments may be scarce for you but might be more common for your brown and black neighbors, for the women that jog with brass knuckles, etc. Most of us want better for all of us. But to do this we must recognize true safety and true danger and stop allowing our managers and department stores to hijack our nervous systems.

Those are all of the thoughts I have on that. Take a fucking break please. For all of us. And try making a list fo the things that are truly safe to you, things and places that rebuke franticness.